


Have you seen my biceps?

by evanderblake



Series: The Angst Series [5]
Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom
Genre: Dangerous Situations, F/M, Kidnapping, ShipGrumps, Stalker, Suspense, angsty, bad relationships, knives are involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 20:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17925377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evanderblake/pseuds/evanderblake
Summary: Dan falls for a fan in the audience at one of his shows, but things don't go exactly as planned.





	Have you seen my biceps?

**Author's Note:**

> Do you like this fic? Great!
> 
> Unfortunately I'm no longer doing commissions, but if you wanna make a request, head on over to @evanderthemagnificent on tumblr to send me a request!

_Do you remember, Dan?_

_When we first met at that concert?_

_You were up on stage singing, and you saw me._

_But you didn’t just see me, did you?_

_You took the time to talk to me, because you thought I was pretty. Do you remember that?_

_And you never talk to fans after the show. That was your rule. But you talked to me._

_Only me._

_You gave me your number, because you said I was different. You said my smile was beautiful, that I reminded you of someone you used to know when you were a lot younger._

_And you knew that this was all a mistake, that you should never have spoken to me that night._

_But see, that’s how we’re different Dan._

_To me, this isn’t a mistake._

_It’s a beautiful accident._

_I’ll make you understand that… one way or the other._

\-----

Somehow her eyes stood out amidst the ocean of screaming fans. They were blue as the sky, sparkling in the flashing stage lights. She wasn’t even singing or shouting or talking, she was just standing there, smiling.

He wasn’t sure how he could show his admiration from up on the illuminated stage, with his bandmates surrounding him. But he knew that he had to get to her, to tell her how beautiful she was, how she made his heart beat fast. For now, a wink would have to do.

She winked back. His stomach turned.

During their final song, he made eye contact with her once more, and nodded his head to the left, to the stage entrance, and winked once more. He hoped that was enough of a signal for her, because he couldn’t risk walking out among the fans, even if he were to talk off his costume. She smiled once more, a dazzling grin that left him breathless. 

He had a good feeling about her. 

\-----

There was a soft knock on the door to his dressing room. When he opened the door, there stood the beautiful girl from the crowd. She had long, curly blonde hair, those same gorgeous blue eyes, and she wore a knee-length dress, an outfit that showed her off well. 

“Was there something you wanted to say to me? I noticed your uh… signals… during the concert,” she asked, giggling at the hilarity of the situation.

Dan invited her into the room and they sat on the couch inside his dressing room, eyeing each other up. “I just wanted to formally introduce myself. I don’t normally meet fans after the concert but there was just… something about you that I couldn’t ignore. I had to at least say hi. So this is me… saying hi,” he explained, shrugging his shoulders a bit.

“Well in that case, it’s good to officially meet you. You know, I imagined this situation unfolding much differently in my head,” she mused. “Typically I can’t keep it cool around famous people, but it’s easier with you. I don’t know why.”

“I’ve heard I’m more laid back than others. I give off the ‘chill dude’ vibe,” he said with a chuckle. 

She laughed along with him, “I believe that.” The girl held up her hand, “My name is Lisa, by the way.”

Dan shook her hand. “Lisa,” he echoed with a smile on his face and a flutter in his chest. 

\-----

That night in his hotel room he heard his phone buzzing from the night stand where he had plugged it in to charge. Dan glanced over at his phone, seeing that it was an unknown number that had texted him.

_+11234569876:  
It’s Lisa <3_

He had almost forgotten that he gave her his phone number. 

_Dan:  
Well hey there :) hope you enjoyed the concert!_

_Lisa:  
Of course! It was my fifth time seeing NSP live, and I was finally close enough to the stage to get your attention_

_Dan:  
Fifth time! God, I can’t believe people like our music that much_

_Lisa:  
Your music isn’t the only thing I like <3_

His heart skipped, and he covered his face with his hands, a little embarrassed and a little giddy. It wasn’t often that he was able to connect with a girl so easily, especially when the girl is a fan of his music. But there was just something about Lisa… she felt so familiar. Like he knew her from somewhere else, or had met her when he was much younger.

He knew, of course, that wasn’t true. He’d never known anyone named Lisa. Not on a personal level, at least. Dan wished the concert hadn’t ended so soon; he could have spent a lifetime just gazing into her beautiful eyes from up on the stage.

\-----

_You were so eager to ask me out._

_We had barely been talking for a few hours when you asked if I had some free-time to get coffee._

_I didn’t even like coffee. But I would never tell you that._

_We met at a Starbucks. You ordered a Chai Latte with almond milk. I got a strawberry smoothie._

_You were so polite. But I could tell that there was a hunger for more behind your eyes._

_It was the same hunger that I had deep inside me. Something only you could bring out in me._

_Are you proud of yourself, Dan?_

_You made me this way._

_You should be proud._

\-----

Dan was sipping on his latte when he saw Lisa walk in, wearing yet another dress. This one was shorter and had pink floral patterns all over it. It was also strapless, which brought a lot of attention to her gorgeous figure. 

He stood to greet her, giving her a quick hug, then offering to buy her a drink. 

“I wouldn’t mind a smoothie,” Lisa stated quietly, grabbing Dan’s hand as the two stood in line together.

“Not a coffee person?”

“No, it’s not that. I’m just in the mood for something different today,” Lisa explained with a smile. 

Dan couldn’t help but smile back.

The two sat at a table in the back corner of the coffee shop, chatting quietly together. He learned that she was also a musician, or that she wanted to be. She had been taking guitar lessons for the past couple months and she was working on her singing in hopes of one day starting her own band, too. Just like Dan had when he was younger.

He thought it was admirable. Lisa was still young, only twenty-nine years old and still trying to live her dreams. Maybe that’s why she felt familiar, because she reminded Dan of himself when he was in his 20’s.

Coincidentally, Lisa wasn’t a fan of Game Grumps. She had only seen a couple episodes, so she really didn’t know all that much about Dan. It was a wonderful feeling to meet someone who didn’t know who he was, truly. The two went back and forth, telling childhood stories, sharing their dreams and aspirations. It was wonderful.

At the end of the date, he walked Lisa out to her car, kissing her once on the cheek. And with one final hug, they went their separate ways.

\-----

_But it doesn’t end there, does it Dan?_

_We dated. Sure, it wasn’t for long, only a month and a half, but we dated._

_You told me you loved me. I loved you. I still do._

_But you were lying. You lied to me just like you lied to every girl before me._

_I’m just another girl to you, right?_

_I won’t be for long._

_When you remember me, you won’t remember me as ‘just another girl.’_

_You’ll remember me as the one that got away._

_The love of your life that you never got to be with._

_How does that feel, Dan?_

_I’ve been there, now it’s your turn._

\-----

Time passed. At least once a week they were out on dates. Dan introduced Lisa to Arin, to Brian, to Suzy and Vernon and Ross and Barry. To everyone. 

And everyone seemed to like her. How could you feel any other way? She was delightful.

They were out to dinner, just getting something quick and light at a Panera Bread. The restaurant was quiet enough, just them and a couple other people, which made the music feel almost too loud. 

“Lisa,” Dan started, looking into those beautiful eyes again.

“Yeah?”

He took a deep breath. “It’s been almost two months now. And I don’t want to… scare you, or anything. But I just want to know if you… see a future with me? Because I’ve dated a lot of people in my life and a lot of the girls I’ve been with were just in it for fun. I don’t want this to be like that.” He ran a nervous hand through his hair, “Because I’m not as young as I used to be, y’know? And I know you’re a lot younger than me but… god, I feel like I’m rambling.”

Lisa held up a hand to stop him. “I see a future with you. I really do. I love you and care about you and I’d love to be with you for years to come. But there’s actually something I need to tell you before the ‘years to come’ can happen.”

Dan swallowed hard. “Okay, what’s that?”

“I decided to go back to school. At least for a couple years, and you would be able to visit me while I’m there and everything, but it might be a little difficult.”

Dan’s stomach turned. He had tried long distance in the past and he knew from experience that it never worked in his favor. “How far away is the school?”

“Florida,” Lisa stated, and let a deep breath out.

Dan sighed heavily. “Florida. That’s… god, that’s…” tears pricked in his eyes. “I’m so happy for you but… I can’t…”

Lisa reached across the table and grabbed Dan’s hand in her own. “We can make this work. I promise we can. We can find time to be together, to make this work. I know we can.”

Dan shook his head, holding back tears. “I can’t do this. If you’re going to be across the country for the next two, three, four years? I can’t do that to myself. I can’t do that to you, either.”

Something in Lisa’s face twisted. It was an expression Dan had never seen in her face before, something that made his hands shake and his stomach lurch. 

“I thought you loved me, Dan. I thought this relationship meant more to you than that. Now because I’m going to be off at school for however many years, you say you can’t do this? Don’t you love me?”

“Of course I do,” Dan replied, his voice noticeably shaking. “That’s not what this is about, Lisa. It’s about the fact that you’re going to be hundreds of miles away for years, and the only way we’ll be able to see each other is through Skype or if I spend tons of money to come see you whenever I miss you. That doesn’t sound ideal, to me at least.”

“You’re acting like money is some sort of object to you. You’re _famous_ , Dan. I know you can afford a plane ticket here and there to come see me,” Lisa argued, the grip on his hand tightening. “I can’t believe how selfish you’re being. If you really loved me, you would do it for me.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This girl, this beautiful girl he’d met not two months ago… was a monster. Dan had only known her for a short time, and in that time she’d gone from a goddess, a sweet loving creature to a controlling demon. 

He pulled his hand from hers. 

“I’m not that famous, Lisa. I still have to buy groceries, I have to pay bills, I have to travel for work, and then on top of that you want me to spend thousands of dollars just to come and visit you? Listen, I love you. I do. And I support your choice to go back to school one-hundred percent, don’t doubt that for one second. But I haven’t known you that long. I’m not at the point where I believe we’re able to function as a long-distance couple. I don’t have that much faith in this relationship that’s not even two months going. You have to understand that on _some_ level,” Dan explained frustratedly. He wanted to say so much more, wanted to ask how she could expect so much of him when they’re barely more than friends. It was insanity. 

But he couldn’t say all that. He knew better. He gave his explanation, and that had to be enough for her. 

Even if she didn’t think so. 

It had to be enough.

\-----

“It wasn’t enough for me, Dan,” Lisa said, a crazed look in her eye that drained the beauty from her. “Of _course_ that wasn’t enough. We were in love, Dan. And you ripped my heart to shreds.”

Dan groaned from beneath the tape on his mouth. His hands were bound behind his back, wrists chafing from the rope that tied them together. He was sure that his skull was cracked from how hard his head had hit the concrete floor when she pushed him down; the back of his head felt warm, and wet, and sticky. 

He hadn’t been awake the whole time she was talking. He couldn’t keep himself awake. In and out of consciousness, hearing bits and pieces of her story, only waking up to feel her hand across his face, hot and stinging and painful as ever.

“We were in love, weren’t we. We had to be. But low and behold, but even a week after you left me at that restaurant you were out with a different girl. I’m not an idiot, I still had you on Facebook, I still saw all your posts. I know what your car looks like, I know how to track you down. I know where you live, your schedule, everything. And you were so naive. You never thought that I’d be able to pull this off,” Lisa explained. It sounded like she had opened a drawer somewhere. There was a sharp sound, like the sharpening of a knife or a sword. 

Dan wanted to scream, shout, run… anything to get away from her. And he couldn’t. He couldn’t even try. He knew she was so much stronger than him, especially in this state. He was helpless. 

“I put it off for a while. It was so painful to see you with that girl. To see how happy you were with her. I quit college because of you. Does that make you happy? And when I messaged you to tell you that I was back in L.A., that I wasn’t going to school anymore, what happened Dan?”

She paused, but Dan still couldn’t say a thing. He groaned and writhed and tried to move closer to the stairs that would allow him his freedom.

Lisa stepped closer, standing above him holding a too-sharp butcher knife in her hand. She lifted one of her feet and stepped on his chest, putting half her weight on him. Dan groaned again.

“You didn’t answer. I texted, I called, I sent messages on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, anything I could use to get your attention. And you didn’t answer. You pretended that I didn’t exist. That we had never been together,” Lisa said with an evil grin. She took her foot off his chest and knelt beside him, sidling the knife up against Dan’s neck. 

“I was so heartbroken. I still love you, Dan. Maybe one day you’ll learn to love me again. But until then, you’ll have to stay down here, in my basement. I know one day you’ll learn better. If not… well, I guess that’s what this knife is for, huh?” She pressed the knife closer, then quickly removed it from his neck. 

Above them, there was the sound of an opening door. “Lisa?” a distant voice called. “You home yet?”

Dan recognized that voice. It was her sister. He remembered that Lisa lived with her sister back when they were dating. 

There was no way that she could hide him forever with someone else in the house.

He prayed that there wasn’t a way.

Lisa set the knife down somewhere Dan couldn’t see and walked up the stairs, locking the basement door as she left. 

\-----

This was his chance. 

She hadn’t left the basement since he was thrown down here, and god knows how long ago that was. No windows except for a tiny escape window across the room, the only light in the room coming from an old desk lamp that barely illuminated the room around him.

He rolled onto his stomach first, inching his way closer and closer to the nearest table, the one he assumed Lisa was sitting at initially. It felt like the table was miles away from him, and with his limbs all tied up it wasn’t an easy journey from his spot on the cold concrete to the table with the dim lamp. 

He wasn’t even sure what his plan was. When he got to the table… then what? What was he supposed to do after that? 

He could try knocking the knife onto the floor. That might work. And then he could maneuver the knife enough to saw through the rope binding his hands together.

Sure. That could work.

It was insane. 

But it could work.

\-----

It did work. Thank god. The rope broke, his hands were free. He ripped the duct tape off his mouth, he shredded the rope around his ankle, he was free.

Almost. He had to get past Lisa and her sister.

He could do this.

He kept the knife on him and looked around the room for anything else that could be of use to him. He found his phone jammed in a drawer of a dresser and sent a text out to anyone who would listen. He pressed the emergency button on his phone and alerted the police. 

He heard the handle to the basement door turn, and he laid back down on the basement floor, moving the rope beneath him to hide his efforts to escape. He hid the knife underneath him too, still holding it in his hand in case the situation took a severe turn. 

The door slammed behind Lisa as she walked down the creaky wooden stairs, turning the corner to find Dan right where she had left him. 

“Hello darling. Sorry I had to leave you, but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere,” Lisa said in a sickly sweet voice, then paused. “Interesting, maybe I should have said that when I came back from Florida. Maybe then you would have listened to me.”

Dan’s face was turned toward the floor to hide the face that his duct tape was missing. He groaned in acknowledgement. 

“Well, the past is the past, right Dan? We should both move on. We’ve got a bright future together,” she said through her teeth like she was holding back a sneer. 

He heard her growing closer and closer until she was practically standing on top of him. And that’s when he wrapped his arms around her legs, pulling her down to the floor.

She shouted once, but was quickly silenced with the duct tape Dan had taken off his own mouth. He took the torn rope and tied her wrists, leaving her ankles free since he was more concerned with his own escape at this point. He left the knife up on the table just out of reach and quickly fled up the stairs, through the living room (while ignoring the confused shouts of Lisa’s sister), and out the front door.

And there, in front of Lisa’s house, was Arin, Suzy, Ross, and the L.A. police. 

\-----

“So wait,” Arin said, pausing to laugh wildly at his own hilarious death in Mario Maker, “this girl had you tied up in her fucking basement? How did she find you?”

Dan was laughing too. It had gotten so much easier to laugh about now. Of course, it had also been two years since the whole situation. “Yeah, so we had gone on maybe 5 dates over the course of a month and a half, and she went crazy, just fucking nuts. And after I started dating Ashley she really lost it and decided she was gonna kidnap me and hide me in her basement until I learned to love her again.”

Arin had already heard this story, several times in fact, but they were playing it up for the show. “How the hell did you get out of there?”

“Um, have you _seen_ my biceps?” They both laughed wildly again. “No, no. I just had to do some quick thinking. I got my hands free and after that it was easy. And when I got outside, the police were already there, so it all worked out.”

“That’s still fucking scary dude,” Arin replied, then he fell off another platform in the game causing more insane screaming, then laughter. “I don’t know if I’d be able to get myself out of a situation like that.”

“It certainly wasn’t easy. I’m glad I was able to get out of that house but… I guess it just goes to show you how fucking nuts some people can be.”

“And why you shouldn’t date fans,” Arin added on, and Dan chuckled.

“Yeah, true. Oh shit, we gotta end the episode dude, we’re like 5 minutes over.”

“Fuckin’ shit!” Arin shouted, dying one last time in the game. “Next time on goddamn Game Grumps… Dan will share how his huge biceps saved him from being kidnapped.”

“I definitely will. Bye everyone!” 

And the episode ended on Arin and Dan’s laughter.


End file.
